Ave Benedict

With a few puffs of white smoke drifting across the late-afternoon Rome sky, the decision the world's 1.6 million Catholics had been waiting for was made, the deal was done : Benedict XVI erstwhile Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger aka "the panzakardinal" was crowned head of the Catholic church.

The past few weeks have seen a bizarre (but entirely predictable) trend in the world's media which saw on the one hand the eulogisation of the work of John Paul and on the other the talking up of the possibility of a more liberal candidate filling his papal shoes. Thus conveniently airbrushed from the record were his hardline policies on social issues, the lies about contraception and HIV peddled by the Vatical on his watch, and his inertia over the problem of paedophile priests. Among the 115 Cardinals voting yesterday was Bernard Law, the former Archbishop of Boston who fled to the Vatican after US authorities threatened to prosecute him for protecting priests accused of abusing minors...JP was good enough to give him a new job - after all, what are friends for ?

In addition we've had an awful lot of, frankly, 'crap' , about how the mood was turning in favour of a papal candidate from either Africa or Latin America who would (in the eyes of Fleet Street) be a moderniser, bringing the church into the 21st century (presumably leapfrogging several centuries on the way).

Suggesting that a moderniser be selected to run the Catholic church is a bit like tipping Margaret Thatcher to come out of retirement and start selling Socialist Worker on a Glasgow council estate (or alternatively saying that Labour will be run by a Tpry...er, hang on a minute). The Catholic church doesn't DO modern - its very survival depends on backwardness and ignorance on the part of its 'flock'. Of course, virtually all the voting cardinals were appointed by the late JP so were never likely to vote for a candidate radically different from his Conservative mould..

So surprise surprise, we have another elderly hardliner. Formerly head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (a department better known by its old name, the "Holy Inquisition"), he has been described as "God's rottvieller" and "the Pope's enforcer". He has argued - as JP did - that homosexuality is "a sin" and advocated denying Communion to pro-abortion candidates in the recent US elections. However, his keenness to intervene in politics has limits. He famously slapped several Latin American cardinals' down for preaching 'liberation theology' (i.e.fighting poverty and injustice) saying it "smacked of Marxism"....given that we are apparently to believe his predecessor brought down communism singlehandedly, you have to love the irony.

But perhaps the most telling evidence of what we can expect from Benedict's papacy comes not from Ratzinger's biography but, rather, the words of one world "leader" yesterday :

" He is a man of great wisdom and knowledge. He is a man who serves the Lord."

The name of this leader ? A one George W. Bush.